Another Real Housewives split, another wave of divorce misconceptions. This time, it’s Dorit and PK Kemsley making headlines, and with them, the return of one of the biggest myths in divorce: the 10-year rule in California.

If you've been following The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (RHOBH), you’ve likely heard the latest drama: Dorit Kemsley fears that her soon-to-be ex-husband, Paul “PK” Kemsley, is trying to rush their divorce before their 10-year anniversary because, according to what she’s been told, California law would entitle her to not only lifelong spousal support, but, get this, half his wealth after that milestone.

It sounds dramatic. It sounds like reality TV gold. But is it true?

Even People magazine passed the wrong message along, stating:

“Dorit also brought up a community property law in California, and explained that spouses are liable to half of one's assets and life-long spousal support should a couple divorce after 10 years of marriage.”

This is not how California law works, but the way it’s reported fuels the misconception that reaching the 10-year mark guarantees one spouse financial security for life.

Let’s break it down.

The Truth About the 10-Year Rule in California

Myth: If a marriage lasts 10 years in California, one spouse is automatically entitled to lifetime alimony and half of their ex’s assets.

Reality: The 10-year mark does not create automatic entitlements.

Here’s what actually happens under California’s “10-Year Rule” (Family Code §4336):

• A marriage lasting 10 years or more is considered a long-term marriage under California law.
• This means the court retains jurisdiction over spousal support indefinitely, but that does not mean support lasts forever.
• There is no automatic right to lifetime support. Courts evaluate each case based on financial need, earning potential (bring in the Vocational Experts!), and whether the lower-earning spouse has made efforts to become self-sufficient.

The Truth About Community Property Rights in California

Myth: If a marriage lasts 10 years in California, one spouse is automatically entitled to 50/50 of their assets.

Reality: Again, the 10-year mark does not create automatic entitlements.

Here’s what actually happens under California’s “10-Year Rule” (Family Code §760):

• Except as otherwise provided by statute, all property, real or personal, wherever situated, acquired by a married person during the marriage while domiciled in this state is community property.

While the "10-Year Rule" often grabs attention, an equally important reality is that community property rights begin the moment you say, "I do."

What Does This Mean?

In California, absent a prenuptial agreement stating otherwise, all income earned and assets acquired during the marriage belong equally to both spouses—regardless of whether the marriage lasts 10 days or 10 years.

Key Takeaways:

• Community property starts accruing from day one. Unlike spousal support, which depends on factors like financial need and earning capacity, ownership of marital assets isn’t tied to the length of the marriage.
• Separate property stays separate. Assets owned before the marriage (or received by gift or inheritance) generally remain separate, unless commingled in ways that change their character.
• Prenuptial agreements can change the default rules. Without one, California law dictates that community property is typically divided 50/50 at divorce.

While long-term marriages carry unique considerations for spousal support, when it comes to property division, time isn’t the deciding factor—marital status is.

Why the 10-Year Rule Gets So Much Attention

Because it creates legal flexibility, not automatic financial guarantees.

• In short-term marriages (under 10 years), courts usually set a specific end date for spousal support.
• In long-term marriages (10+ years), courts don’t have to set an end date. Instead, they retain the ability to modify or terminate support based on changing circumstances over time.

Translation? The 10-year rule means flexibility, not a financial jackpot.

The Gavron Warning: Why Spousal Support Isn’t Always Forever

Even in long-term marriages, California law does not guarantee lifelong spousal support. Instead, the legal expectation is that the supported spouse will make reasonable efforts to become financially independent over time.

Under Family Code §4330, courts frequently issue a Gavron Warning, which is a formal notice stating that the recipient of spousal support must take steps to support themselves within a reasonable period.

What does this mean in real (RHOBH) terms?

• If Dorit (or any other supported spouse) does not actively pursue self-sufficiency, PK (or any paying spouse) can later request a modification or termination of support.
• If a supported spouse is making progress toward financial independence, support may continue for a period of time, but it is not designed to last forever unless circumstances (such as health or advanced age) prevent self-sufficiency.
• Courts regularly re-evaluate spousal support orders. Under Family Code §4336(c), spousal support can be terminated in later proceedings based on a showing of changed circumstances, such as increased income, cohabitation, or remarriage.

But the real game-changer is hidden in the "magic language" of Family Code §4336(a):

"Except on written agreement of the parties to the contrary."

This screams for mediation before a divorce is finalized.

Why Mediation is the Smartest Option 

If you’re facing divorce, don’t rely on reality TV for legal advice. The 10-Year Rule does not guarantee lifetime spousal support or an automatic 50/50 split of assets. California’s community property laws apply regardless of marriage length, meaning assets acquired during the marriage are divided equally—but that doesn’t mean everything is up for grabs. Courts also consider factors like separate property, income, and financial contributions.

When it comes to spousal support, courts retain jurisdiction indefinitely in long-term marriages—unless there’s a written agreement stating otherwise. Without clear terms in place, support can remain open-ended, leading to costly litigation over whether, when, and how it should end. Courts also issue Gavron Warnings, expecting supported spouses to make reasonable efforts toward self-sufficiency. But what counts as reasonable? That, too, can become a legal battle.

Mediation puts you in control by allowing you to:

• Clearly define separate and marital property to avoid disputes over division
• Set specific terms for spousal support instead of leaving it open-ended
• Establish expectations for self-sufficiency to prevent future court battles
• Waive court jurisdiction over support for a clean financial break

Reality TV loves drama. But when it comes to your divorce, clarity matters more than a storyline.

That’s where Quantum^® ADR comes in.

With our Two-Coach Approach, we blend legal expertise and relational psychology to help couples reach practical, future-focused solutions without the stress, cost, or uncertainty of litigation. If you want certainty, clarity, and control over your financial future, mediation is the answer.

Let’s talk.